Managing Anxiety in Uncertain Times - Syd's Top Three

I am pretty open with people about my (long documented, therapy healed) Generalized Anxiety Disorder that arrived at my mental doorstep when I was 17 years old. In talking with some colleagues and seeing trends on Social Media, I thought now may be as good a time as any to share with you my Top Three Tips for Managing Anxiety in Uncertain Times.

First, how do you tell if you have anxiety?  Anxiety is defined as:

It's worth noting that anxiety becomes a disorder only when it is excessive and is partnered with compulsive behavior or panic attacks. If you are having these symptoms, I strongly encourage you to seek professional help via a therapist or doctor. Both have helped me on and off for over 21 years.

Anxiety is one of the most pervasive and insidious mental challenges across the world, and it can go from being pretty annoying to being downright debilitating. What's worse, is sometimes Anxiety's BFF Depression also comes out to play so you can be stressed to no end while also being completely lethargic... FUN!  Thankfully it is also one of the most treatable challenges.

I am no doctor but here are some tips I have personally found to be helpful in managing Anxiety (and Anxiety induced Depression) in Uncertain Times: 

1. Learn to Recognize your personal "Tells"

Because both Anxiety and Depression are pretty sneaky liars, they tend to take over your brain and make you perceive reality in a way that doesn't exactly match reality.  Luckily for us, they are also pretty bad at being spontaneous - meaning they show up in pretty similar patterns of behavior.   For me it doesn't always just show up as "being excessively worried." Sometimes it's: 

• Getting agitated over things that normally wouldn't bother me
• Picking fights with people over stuff that won't matter tomorrow
• Letting my (desk, house, life, yard, etc) get pretty messy or unkempt
• De-prioritizing things that normally are part of my routine or self-care regime
• And...yes sometimes... uncontrollable crying over TV shows and commercials (Thanks a lot OnStar, This is Us, Purina, you name it)!
• Your results may vary... these are just some examples from my personal experience

When these things happen then I have noted that these are signs I may be in a state of Anxiety and need to practice some of my tricks to get myself out of that mental space and back to health. 

Pro-Tip: It's also helpful to have someone that you trust in on what your personal tells are so they can gently help you back on track.  Make sure to be very specific with this trusted Reality Check Person on how they should talk to you in these moments so there is an agreed method of communication.  This will help keep the partnership healthy and productive.

2. In the Panic Moment - have some go-to tools in your Un-Panic Toolbox

If you are already in full on Panic mode, it is REALLY, REALLY (like, really) hard to un-panic yourself and get back to baseline until the panic attack runs its course. However, if you can learn the signs of an impending panic attack, then you can head them off with some handy mental tricks. 

First - how to recognize an oncoming panic attack? Your body is your best friend in this scenario.  Your body will alert you to an oncoming panic attack before it happens by signaling you with certain physical feelings or body language that say, "Yo, Brain - the panic is coming, please do something."  The problem is we tend to be really disconnected to our own bodies and typically these signals go unnoticed. Here are some personal examples: 

• For physical feelings, I will get tight shoulders, tightness in my throat, shallow breathing, heat in my face, and a clenched jaw.
• For body language, I will find myself wringing my hands, picking at my fingernails, grabbing my neck with both hands. It can be tricky because sometimes I just do these things anyway so it's usually important to mentally check in on the physical feelings above if I'm doing these behaviors. 

So how do you un-panic yourself in the moment? Here are my favorite tricks: 

• Grounding Exercises: This is the process of forcing your brain into a calming state based on how the brain works. The parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) controls homeostasis and the body at rest and is responsible for the body's "rest and digest" function. The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) controls the body's responses to a perceived threat and is responsible for the "fight or flight" response. 

Grounding helps force your brain out of a sympathetic state and back into a parasympathetic state. This is helpful to get yourself out of your own head and back into the real world which is a great Anxiety soother. Below is a simple example of a grounding exercise. The trick is not only to identify the things but also to mentally describe them to yourself. You can do this quietly and no one will even know it is happening unless you tell them!

• Feel your feet: When you are in Anxiety mode, your brain is not paying attention at all to your feet and for some reason this feeling makes Anxiety worse.  Your feet can get cold or even numb (hence "Cold Feet"). So, take off your shoes, put your feet on the floor, wiggle your toes around. Walk around if you need to and feel how your feet feel on the ground. 

• Imagine yourself on the other side of the moment:  Like most anything, this moment of panic or anxiousness will pass.  This helps in particular when you have to get through a stressful event. I am often in the hot seat presenting to executive leadership, and sometimes this can be very stressful. Imagining where I'll be, what I'll be doing, how I'll be feeling, etc AFTER the moment of stress helps me be calm knowing this will pass and I'll be okay (during and after the event).

3. Set yourself up for success: Anxiety is one of those things where if it happens once it is significantly more likely to happen again. Equally, 1 in 3 people will experience a panic attack at some point in their lifetime.  Here are my tips on longer term management of Anxiety:

• If your personal tells start cropping up, take action. But, if you know that a messy house is a tell, then keeping your house (mostly) tidy can stave off anxiety.  
• Befriend your Anxiety.  This may seem counter-intuitive, but if you're like me, Anxiety isn't going anywhere... so recognize the things that Anxiety actually helps you do well. For me, hyper vigilance, hyper focus, conscientiousness, etc are all things that I can easily put into overdrive due to my Anxiety and they can be super helpful during an actual crisis. Knowing that your challenges can also be your superpowers gives you the ability to see them as tools vs. handicaps.
• Practice your in-panic tools when you aren't actually in a panic. This will help it become second nature when you actually are having a crisis. 
• Exercise.  Y'all for real -  exercise 10 minutes a day and your anxiety will decrease or completely disappear. 
• Practice Gratefulness.  Gratefulness is a salve to negative thought patterns. The more you practice it, the more grateful you will feel, and everyone around you will be grateful foo.
• Lastly- turn your anxiety into curiosity... if you change your worry into curiosity, your brain will not convert those thoughts to anxiousness - instead it will cause you to seek information and education on a topic. You might find out something you didn't know, or spark a great conversation with someone.  Curiosity is like water on an anxiety fire. Instead of thinking "Things will never be like they were, I will never be able to go to Ikea without wearing a face mask," think instead "I wonder when Ikea will reopen to the public and if their online ordering process will be different now that they've had to adjust."  Inserting "I wonder" into your thoughts will work to head off anxious thought patterns.

I hope these tips and tricks help someone in these uncertain times. If you are experiencing anxiety or if you have any questions related to this blog post, please feel free to reach out to me directly at sydneylaurendavis@gmail.com.  I am not a doctor, therapist, or social worker, just a person sharing some things I've learned along the way.